Sleeping, Dreaming, Bliss
by Shinobi-dono
Summary: A short glimpse into the dreams of Starrk, and the reality it conflicts with.


**Sleeping, Dreaming, Bliss**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.**

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At night, Starrk slept. At night, he dreamt. He dreamt of not the black sky or the white sands, but of a blue sky, a shining sun and a green plain set in front of him. He dreamt of colour, he dreamt of life. His subconscious fantasy was nothing like the reality, and that was why he so desperately sought to return to it every night. It was why he slept so much and dreamt so much. He did not feel much happiness in his reality, but in this blissful paradise of an imagination he was satisfied, delighted. He was incredibly happy. He smiled.

In these dreams he saw Harribel. He saw Barragan, too. He saw Zommari and Szayel, Nnoitra and Grimmjow and Yammy and Ulquiorra and even Aaroniero too. He saw Lilynette and Apache. Shawlong and Poww. Dordonii and Sun-Sun and Mila-Rose and Gantenbainne were also there. All the Arrancar whose names he could remember, and all those whose names escaped him. They were all in his blissful fantasy world. They were all around him, gathered together. They were a large group, not an army, or a squad, but something that Starrk had been looking for since day one.

Grimmjow and Nnoitra would always be fighting and arguing, and in a typical brawl between them it would take Harribel to separate them. Barragan would sit in a chair with his arms crossed and simply berate the two brawlers for always getting into fights in his typically annoyed way. Szayel would be off to one side, experimenting with new inventions and serums and the like, boasting to others in his typical flamboyant, dramatic manner that the others seemed to ignore. Zommari would be seen meditating, and Ulquiorra would sit near him simply to be alongside silent, mature company rather than have to deal with someone as annoying or angry as Grimmjow and Nnoitra. And Yammy, meanwhile, would be sitting on the ground eating food, and all the while Aaroniero simply watched the others, with the two heads occasionally speaking to each other behind that tall mask of his.

But always, always, would he be sitting in the shade of a tree, hands placed behind his head while Lilynette sat beside him, looking at him with her one eye. She would watch him close his eyes, only to give him a punch in the side that woke him up, and if that didn't work she'd try something else. When Starrk opened his eyes and looked at her, she would just smile and giggle childishly, and he couldn't help but smile in return.

He wasn't quite sure what to call it, the group of Arrancar gathered together in his dream. Hollows formed groups all the time, but this was not the same. They were not allied under Aizen's banner, nor were they brought together by the desire to feast on Hollows together and grow stronger. They never had plans for the future, always focusing on things in the present. They didn't have to do anything, they could go anywhere. They all had freedom, and yet they chose to stick together in that one group. It was a foreign subject that Starrk and Lilynette were still trying to understand.

But perhaps there was no need to understand – Perhaps understanding this group's meaning was completely unnecessary. What point was there in trying to find meaning, anyway, in such a place where they were all gathered? No, Starrk and Lilynette did not need to know what it was or understand it perfectly – They were living it happily, and that was just fine with them.

"Starrk!" the young girl spoke, smiling as the older, resting man looked towards her with a single brow raised.

"What?" he asked, sitting up a bit as he listened to the young girl.

"We've finally found it, haven't we?" she said, but his brow only rose higher at the odd statement.

"Found what…?" he asked, earning a childish giggle from the young girl.

"Don't be silly, Starrk!" she told him, prodding him in the chest with a single digit. "We've found others, others who are as strong as us!" she told him, to which he could only give back a small smile of his own.

"Yeah…" he replied, lying back in the soft grass, eyes staring up through the many green leaves of the tree above him. "We don't have to be alone anymore" he remarked, smiling contently as he closed his eyes.

But no matter how sweet the dream, there was always a reality. There was always that period of awareness that he would never be able to deny. When he was awake there was no shining sun, no blue sky, no greenery in sight. There was the mocking dome painted to resemble the sky with the real, pitch black variant hanging outside it, white sands coating the ground and no sign of life amidst the vast ocean of white. There was no group, there was no blissful fantasy, only a military group sworn to serve under Aizen and destroy the Soul Society. And what then would follow? Nothing. It would be as if all the worlds were alike, sharing the same pitch black sky and white sea of sand he had grown weary of. There was no real bond with the rest of the Espada he had grown to accept despite their horrible personalities. Only an alliance that sought to destroy and tear apart others, banding together only to make things easier.

"Starrk!" a feminine, childish yell sounded throughout the palace, and a well placed kick to the abdomen got him waking up and paying attention to the young girl he stayed by all the time, who looked back at him with a serious expression. He sighed, knowing the look.

"Aizen-sama wants you to take back that girl" she told him, to which he nodded as he sat up.

"He says he's planning on going soon, is that why you didn't help Aaroniero?" she asked, but his frown told her no as he stood up, walking along.

"No" he answered verbally, taking a slow pace as he began to leave his chambers. "If he is already dead, I can't do anything. I can't help him. I can't bring him back. Because he's dead, just like all the others" he spoke, pausing briefly to look back at Lilynette, whose face was almost heartbreaking to look at. Turning back forwards, he walked onwards.

"I wish I could go back to sleep" he told her, his voice quiet, almost a whisper.

"I was having a wonderful dream".

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**Shinobi-dono: Well... What do you think? I felt like writing something for Starrk, and the last chapter gave me an idea. So, me being me, I decided to go with it and see how it went. Not very long, I know, but I hope you like it regardless.**


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